I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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