that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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