party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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