The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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