Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
