Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
