is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
