"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
