My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
why is half of my head shaved?
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