as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
