I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
