Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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