i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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