Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
