Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
