You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
