so explain again why im purple
no
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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