is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
