Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
