And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
