Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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