thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
