Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never let your siblings swipe right.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
