A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
