I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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