Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Princesses don't give blow jobs
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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