if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
