i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
