he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
