the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
