9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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