I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how can u be prego again
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
