My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
