im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
