called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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