Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
