I'm eating all of the evidence.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
