brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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