i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
