My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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