just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
