Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
