real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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