we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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