I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
