I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
