I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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