Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
