You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
