What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
