I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
