Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
