I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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