very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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